Wednesday, January 13, 2010


I feel so ridiculously helpless. So many hurting and no real way for help to come. I feel sick. I imagine Mother's holding hungry and hurt babies not knowing if food or water will ever come. I see husbands outside homes in which their wives have died. The power of the devastation is overwhelming. My kids don't get the magnitude of it, but Gabe asked in the car on the way home from school, "Mom, was this God's will?" Daniel began to cry and said he wanted to go there. Me too little man, me too. A country I love, that so many love, and that holds so many precious people is throbbing with the aftershocks of extreme devastation, and I am supposed to go to dinner and then teach kids club at church. How exactly do I do that? Anything other than crying and wailing at this point is fake. And this is where faith becomes real. When there is no emotional payback and you must CHOOSE to believe that God is good and God is love. Right now I am empty and dead inside, but I am choosing to believe. And I am asking God to please have mercy, please show yourself in this, please help, please comfort.

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Many today are in the dark but hoping...

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