Monday, August 30, 2010

Data Points

My husband is an engineer. No stop, that wasn't a cry for help. I'm just prefacing. He judges everything in data points. No emotion, no subjectivity. (Atleast he thinks) So since we started this new supplement regimen for G he is always looking for data points. He (G, not my husband)got up on Sunday, got ready for church got in the car and endured two services with zero rages - data point. He watched me take 3 other kids to Target to spend their money and didn't once try to stop or sabotage it and then proceeded to NOT ask me if I got him anything when we came home. Data point. Last night he wouldn't go to sleep - was goofing and keeping his brother up. I moved D into our room and G proceeded to scream at us from upstairs for the next hour - yep HOUR. Data point. This morning woke up foul still steaming about last night (G, not me!) and started to sabotage the morning. Managed to get dressed and come downstairs anyway. Started breakfast and I put his vitamins in front of him (I blend them into OJ). He said he wasn't going to drink it. I mentioned his attitude has been so great lately and he seems truly happier and didn't he want to see if this could help keep that going. He said, "yeah but last night I was a jerk." Instead of saying "YEP, Jerko Supremo!" I said, "yeah, but that was one time in the middle of a bunch of really good days." He ate, drank, and chatted happily the rest of the morning. Got his stuff and headed off with a smile. DATA POINT!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Drugs, herbs, vitamins

Since Corey asked and I was just preparing to write on this...yes, we have started him on Niacin. We started it two weeks ago and have stayed at 500mg/day so far. We have noticed some improvement in the rage department, but we have seen good "spells" like this before so I am holding out judgement for now. At the advice of a local developmental pediatrician that specializes in treating autism and other similar neurological issues we have also started him on a supplement that is a combination of magnesium, zinc, 5HTP and a bunch of herbs that are supposed to ease anxiety and help with depression. Again, we do see improvement, but we'll see how long it lasts...

I have been trying to get an appointment with our local Psychiatric Clinic for 2 months now - it is unfuriating. They are so po dunk. If you aren't from the south that means - we live in a small town where people are used to not having stuff or services so when they are offered it is at the discretion of the offerer knowing that there are no other options so you will put up with their poor customer service and be grateful for whatever you get. Atleast, that's what it meant in this particular case in my sentence. I truly believe G needs something for his anxiety. He is a total basket case about EVERYTHING! It is only since his attachment has grown that he has been able to verbalize how extremely stressed he is about everything. He is starting to trust that we will do what we can to help. That is good, but also very exhausting because sometimes there is nothing we can do - we can't make school disappear for example. And then his attachment rage rears its ugly head because if we really loved him then doggone it we would figure out a way to fix this! It's a process. So, we are trying these supplements in the hopes that they will help his damaged little brain heal and figure out a way to just do normal things like get dressed and brush your teeth without melting into a puddle on the floor because it is so everwhelming and will take sooo looong and then everything fun will be over and life is so horrible and you wish you were never born and everything is ruined and why does everything have to be so hard and on and on and on...... And my therapeutic mommy brain is doing everything in its power to avoid saying something super smart like, "Just brush your freakin' teeth already." and is instead searching for something loving and supportive like, "can I help you? why don't I hold the tooth brush while you jump up and down" - insert smile and hope for levity and not an escalation - and pray for God to please help this child.

So, yeah we'll try Niacin and all that other stuff and whatever else we can get our hands on(:

One week down

Just sent the kids off to school for the last day of the first week. We did it. G was seriously working it this morning to get to stay home, but he clearly does not comprehend how gloriously quiet it is around here when he is gone! Mama WILL DO whatever it takes to get you out the door. I did notice something though. Since he stalled so long he was of course still frantically getting his stuff together as Daddy waited in the driveway. He couldn't find his clarinet. We searched and searched, but no luck. Normally at this point a full blown rage would be ensuing and he would be trapped with the reality that going without it meant trouble and not going meant trouble and these are the rock and a hard place scenarios that his brain just. cannot. deal . with! I said I would find it and drop it at school for him. And guess what - he said ok and told me his case was by the door....and he left! Got in the car! No screaming! This tells me two things. One, his frustration tolerance is improving. Two, he trusted me to actually bring it to school - which I did with wet hair and no makeup and baby in the car still in jammies(:

I will choose to focus on this and not on the pre-homework meltdown we all endured yesterday afternoon.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

First Day Of School

My two middle schoolers and my gorgeous first grader. Looks great....but where's G? Oh, I remember - he was sulking and tired and moody. He will NEVER figure out his locker. EVERYONE in his class is a bully - he heard from a very reliable source not to be named. He is TIRED, perhaps because he was up til 11:00 tossing and fretting and screaming about aforementioned fears.

Well, maybe we can just sub someone in for him. Where's the baby? There you go.

Hmm, not working. She doesn't want to go to school. She wants breakfast. D is not amused. Two middle schoolers still trying to pull it off. Oh wait, here comes G.

Not sure which is less attractive. A one year old acting like a,...well...a one year old or a nine year old acting like a two year old. D is over it. Two middle schoolers discuss how cute and naive it was of Mom to think she could make this happen.

The good news is that everyone walked out the door without a complete and total meltdown, and by 'everyone' I mean G. And 'everyone' also got out of the car and walked into the school.
And everyone came home still in one piece, mastery of lockers and lunch rooms and making of new friends accomplished. Shew!

Friday, August 13, 2010

What Summer?

I cannot believe the kids are back to school in a week! This summer has been so busy and hectic I actually think that school will be quite a nice break. For me anyway! Until I have to put out a science project and stick my kids name on it, but that won't happen til around January. I have been spending time doing all sorts of fun stuff like going to allergy clinics for Gabe, PT, OT, and Speech for the baby, and orthodontics for Madeline and Sydney. Thank goodness Daniel is healthy!! We did hit the beach again for a week back in June with our all time best friends the Jacksons, but that seems like a lifetime ago. Here is a link to our beach slideshow. The song has zero meaning except that everytime we turned on the radio while we were there it was playing. Became sort of a running joke. Tomorrow we are off for four days in Williamsburg at my parents time share. Our last hurrah before school begins. Once the kids are back in school and I have time to talk I have so much to share(: Til then...