Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm Lame, supplements are not.

I would like to delete the previous post. It is self indulgent and preachy - two things I hate. But it is where I was in that moment so I will leave it in the name of transparency - one thing I love.

I wanted to give a bit of an update on G and his supplements. The problem is, everytime I thought we had hit a huge milestone of DWF (days without fits) he would explode like crazy worse than ever. And that has sort of been the trend. Here is my non-scientific, eyes of a Mother, take on what is happening. I think they are helping to stabilize his mood. They are taking the edge off of what was probably a chemical imbalance that is now normalizing. Rages are still happening, in my opinion, for two main reasons. First is habit. He is used to dealing with things this way. And he can allow it to happen as a matter of choice even if chemically he should be able to cope in another way. These rages are easy to spot because they are sporadic and he will be completely lucid and in his "thinking brain" if you engage him. The second is attachment disorder. These are the really bad ones. They are the ones that he cannot stop and neither can we. They come when he feels shame - he did something wrong and got caught, he thinks we hate him, he hates himself etc etc. These are long, and loud and usually end in something being broken (not the least of which is my heart). These are the ones that attachment parenting can help, but it is a long road to healing. We are learning how to calm him, trying new things. The great thing about these supplements is that when he is not raging he is way more often acting like a regular kid. The fake, babyish, weird, socially inappropriate, odd stuff that we are so used to dealing with is starting to fade, and so it is so much easier to fill the black hole of emotional need. Cause, occasionally now we actually like the kid! So, basically I think they are absolutely helping to atleast peel away one of the many layers of crazy we are dealing with.

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