SADHD = sad head

I want to share a little of what God has been telling me these few weeks since the retreat. When I got home I learned that I would have to be much more intentional about shutting out the other voices and seeking to hear from Him. But what followed was such peace. I began to soak up His presence. I was so excited to get into His word, and I realized how seldom I have read the Bible just to get to know more about my Saviour. So often, I am embarrassed to say, I would run to the word when I needed something - an answer, a healing, a sign. But now I run to the Word because that is where my Lord is waiting for me. No agenda but communion. No striving unless it is after my Jesus. I'm thinking I need to begin a personal study on the "rest" that is talked about in Hebrews 4. So often I feel burdened. I ache for the millions of children who go to bed tonight with no mommy to tuck them in, or I ache for the one child who grabs my heart and I pray. But Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Perhaps I am carrying what should be His? Then in Galations Paul says we are to bear one another's burdens. How do we bear them? Is it right that I should lay awake at night wondering about these children, this child? Should I place them at the foot of the cross and say they are Jesus' responsibility, or has He asked me to be burdened on their behalf? If so, for what outcome? More action? More prayer? ...More Price kids? And then my SADHD (spiritual attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) kicks in and I am back striving, wondering - no, more like wandering. How I love Haiti. How I love orphans. How I love the kids at my church. How I love my family. HOW do all of these things fit together into ONE vision? Because sometimes I feel like an octopus with a hand in every direction, but going no where. And once again I am right back where I started. Be still. Be quiet. Shut out all but Jesus. Listen and wait. Because I see other people with a vision. One true vision statement. And they are able to move forward, and actually accomplish things. I am praying for the Heather Price, Inc. vision statement to fall from the heavens. And then I am praying for God to give me some serious side blinders so that I can move forward.