Revelation

I had a revelation the other day. At Katie's request (from over at The Journey), I was listening to one of the sermons by David Platt in his radical series. He was talking about how we have to love God in a superior way. Yes, we love people, our family, etc. but our love for them should be so puny in comparison to our love for the Lord. I don't know if this happens to you, but at this point although I was still listening to the sermon it was like God was preaching an entirely different one in my head. I started thinking about Haiti. I know, shocking. I thought about my trips to visit, and how I felt so alive and at peace when I was there. I thought about how I would cry every time the plane took off from Port Au Prince, how I would feel so homesick back in my pleasant suburban home. I would pour over my pictures and soak in the faces and scour youtube for video. A few brief seconds of creole or a rooster crowing above honking tap taps would bring a smile as I closed my eyes and pretended to be there. I could will myself to smell the burning trash, the fresh mango, the sweat. There has never been a doubt. I.Love.Haiti. I don't even know why really. I just am happiest when I am there. In the months and years after my time there I begged God to send us to Haiti. Naively to be sure, but sincerely nonetheless. I watched the Livesay's go, and I was jealous. I knew God would tell Jason if we were meant to go, but it never happened. At this point in God's little sermonette to me he simply says, "so, Heather, did I ever tell you to go to Haiti full time?" I knew the answer was no. I knew that the desire to go had always been about me. I wasn't wanting to go in obedience. I just wanted to be there. I loved Haiti. I loved the Haitian people. I loved how I felt when I was in Haiti. I. I. I. I. And God said that I had to love HIM more than I loved Haiti. Maybe, for me, the sacrifice to God was NOT going. Maybe for me, the sacrifice to God was staying in suburbia. Is that weird to anyone else? Well, it was for me too until I found that my ministry is RIGHT.HERE. More on that in my next post...