I'm smiling now as I think back on the past months. The knowledge that God was preparing me, the idea of suffering, the struggle, then the resignation, and then the anticipation. And now I see at least a glimpse of what it was for. He was giving me the armour I would need for this battle. He prepared the way so that I would not be shocked by it or overcome. He filled me up with His love and strength. It is an amzing thing when you can look at a situation that seems bleak and scary and still have peace. I don't think I have ever had this before. I have read about it, prayed for it, and seen others with it, but now it is mine. The peace that passes understanding. I feel safe and secure even though my world is shaking a bit. I know that I know that I know that God has me in His hands and whatever comes to me, good or bad, difficult or easy, is a blessing from Him. In the good times I will praise Him and in the bad I will praise Him. He has given me what I need - His presence, His love, and His grace. If God is for me who (what) can be against me?! I get it.